And then it came

My Mom never told me about it, even my aunt never did because culturally it was her responsibility to talk to us about it. The aunts played the role of advisors but then she stayed far from us. I only got to learn about it from school from the newly introduced Guidance and Counselling class. I was in grade six by then, around ten years of age when the new teacher came and talked to us about how our bodies had started to change and what it all entailed. She told us about the PERIOD and how there was going to come a time when we were going to start to bleed signalling our transition to womanhood. When we had that particular class it was just the girls and boys had to leave. It was all hush hush as not every human being was supposed to know that you are having the PERIOD. From that day, I for one dreaded when it was going to happen to me. Especially seeing how some of the elder girls had been teased by the whole school after they “spoiled” their uniforms. I didn’t want to deal with that embarrassment, so it was something that I looked forward to with some trepidation.

One morning as I was walking to school I just felt a squish in my panties and without even looking I knew that the day had come. I got to school and even though the teacher had told us never to use tissue paper because it was dangerous and unhygienic that is what I used. I could not even tell anyone what happened to me because though the guidance and counselling teacher had told us what would happen to our bodies; she still maintained that having your period was something that not everyone was supposed to know about, it was a private, woman issue. Thankfully I didn’t bleed much for that first time, I told no one about it at home, I could not talk to my Mom about it. How could I open up on such an issue which had never come up before between us? I did not want anyone to know about what had happened to me. I did not know about sanitary pads so I found some cloths that I padded and made a makeshift pad which I would wash and reuse. I had noticed my elderly cousins doing the same and I was good to go. Thankfully I did not suffer from any cramps and had and still have a very light flow so I got away with doing this for a while.  

But being a child I spoiled my white gym shorts, tried to wash them but the stain wouldn’t come out so I just threw them in the washing basket.  That’s how my Mom found out her little girl had had her period, I overheard her talking to my cousin that she had found my spoiled gym shorts. She still did not talk to me about it and I would have died of embarrassment if she had. I guess it’s very important to establish that open relationship with your children such that they are able to openly talk to you about menstruation or anything really regarding life in general. If you don’t then it becomes difficult to break that wall that would have been erected.

So to this day the only person who ever gave me the period talk was that guidance and counselling teacher. I continued using my makeshift pads until the first year of High School until I discovered the magic of sanitary pads. I remember buying them one day when I was with my friend and she also didn’t know what they were. She had also been using cloths and I believe most girls that time were using cloths. There was one girl in our class who would spoil her uniform every month and she would be vomiting and having serious cramps, everyone would know that it was her ‘time’’. For her, having her monthly cycle was a nightmare. So we came together and would save the little that we had for lunch and started buying sanitary wear together. Something that no one had really talked to us about, which was supposed to be talked about in hushed tones brought together three budding women. We were finally able to talk about our period and experiences with someone who could relate and understand with no shame.

It started off being an embarrassment to be seen holding pads in a shop until we grew to accept that having your period was just a normal, natural way of life that was supposed to be a source of joy. So we grew and evolved to be women who would hold their heads high, confidently holding our pads. We gave each other strength and we are now women who can talk about our sexuality openly without batting an eyelid. Why? Because together we discovered our inner strength, we did not let the barriers and the taboos of our society rule us. Having your period is something to be proud of. It’s the way of life, of being woman…and I love having my period! I have moved from that little girl who did not want anyone to know about it to a woman who can tell it to the whole world.

Though it is saddening to note that in some rural communities in my country, small girls are using cow dung and some are still using those cloths. This so in the era where we have sustainable development goals where we are saying we should not leave anyone behind in extreme poverty. Pads in my country are super expensive and not everyone can afford them especially in the current economy. Little girls are forced to miss periods of school days because of their periods which is wrong and unacceptable. Having your period should not become a cause of embarrassment or make you miss out on any opportunity.